While I may lack skill and imagination endurance many folks have for writing fanfict (looks at Elly, bows and says "I am not worthy" several times), I have contribuited my minor talents to a little project called Castville.  Long story short, jwm at TWoP came up with the idea that Al and Miles fired all the writers and had the actors write the episodes of season six, and later season seven.

Oh, and the cast, outside of TW, are nuts.  KK wants Lana dead, JG just wants Lionel to win, and ED wants Lois to win and be nude. 

Going back, it is a little scary how man y ideas from Castville actually came true in season seven and eight.  Esppecially when it comes to how we depicted ED.

If you are deeply, deeply bored, check it out.  We still have two episodes to go, but I can promise there are no tangoes, a smart Clark, and absolutely no scenes where Chloe nibbles on Jimmy ear.

OK, now that I came up with that scene I need a drink.

Hi, I am RepairmanBob.  You may remember me from such rants at Television Without Pity as "Lana Eats Brains", "Lois Lane - Witless Slut" and "CLARK SMASH TINY OLSEN!!  NO TAKE MY TINY BLONDE!!!!"

As a Chloe fan, I am finding it tough watch Smallville these days.  Ever since May, PS3 has been talking about Clois, Clois and more Clois, with words like Icon, Iconic and Mythology replacing Triangles as the buzz words of choice.  In order to get Clark and Lois together at the Daily Planet, Chloe was:

- Still stuck in the soul killing, scene-stopping Black Hole of Suck known as Chimmy
- Fired from the Daily Planet for helping Clark
- Arrested for helping Clark
- Brain-raped by Brainiac
- Kidnapped by LuthorCorp lackeys, held captive for a month and drugged for helping Clark
- Motivated to accept the engagement of lying, treacherous fuckwit Jimmy Olsen, the asshat who set up her captivity by the previously mentioned LuthorCorp lackeys
- Finally, decided to give up her character defining role of The Reporter, her central characteristic for seven years, so that she could go be Lana's stand-in / coffee bitch at Isis.  Chloe, by the way, fucked up her first "client" so badly that Lex's evil stand in Tess Mercer (played outstandingly by Casidy Freeman) was able to recruit her.  That's right - Chloe is such a bad counselor that Bette chose to return to people who had held her captive and experiment on her for years.  Great work there, Sullivan.

Now, in the hands of decent writers, this kind of beat-down would lead to something.  Years of Kick the Chloe would lead to a happy ending - Cinderella would get her prince and the Big Story.  But on Smallville, Chloe is thrown under the bus so PS3 can play with Clark and Lois at the Daily Planet.  Seven years of television, seven years of development, endless misery for a much loved character  - all meaningless so long as the show can get its Epic, Iconic moments.

Lois fucked her evil, cloned boss?  Doesn't matter - she's Iconic!
Clark is totally unqualified to work in the Daily Planet's mail room, much less to be hired as a full reporter?  Doesn't matter - It's Epic!
Chloe's dream since she was seven (per Progeny) was to be a reporter at the Daily Planet?  Tough shit - she's not Iconic!
Clark and Lois can barely stand each other, unless they are drugged put of their minds?  Who cares - they have an Iconic Love!

Well, fuck the Iconic Icons of Iconicity and fuck this.  SV!Clark and SV!Lois are different from other versions of the characters, and for the PS3 to suddenly say "Hey, it's all Iconic!" as their excuse for a hard reboot of the show (Lois is competent!  Clark wants to help people!  Chloe does not care about reporting!) is utter bullshit.  It tells me that the new show runners think I am a moron for watching their show for the past seven years, since not a goddamn thing from that time matters.  Watching Chloe Sullivan, a character I like, be broken down and destroyed half time character with the right name can be Iconic is bullshit.  Seeing Lois Lane, who has been a fucktard of epic proportions for much of the past four years, suddenly get an IQ boost offscreen so she can be Iconic, is bullshit. 

I am not even going to go into Clark Kent being hired as a report at the Daily Planet based on writing articles at his high school paper three years ago and a semester of college credits.  I guess he decided to one-up Lois and start fucking his boss before he got hired.

At this point, I hope Doomsday kills Clark and runs off with Chloe.  They can have lots of hot, evil sex, and go on double dates with Lex and Tess.  Damn, how sad is it that two episodes into the new season, the new villains are my favorite characters? 

Screw it - GO DOOMS!